"No Mr. Bear, I Expect You to Fry."
I had a brief conversation with King Feddy from my ultra huge (and free) suite at Bally's in Vegas and asked him to pick from three choices for lunch:
* Rosemary's Restaurant
A place that I consider to be the best food in Vegas (which says a lot, since it may well be the second best food city in America, next to New Orleans).
* M & M Soul Food Cafe
A place I've never tried, but how can it be bad?
= or =
* Piero's
Truly old skool Vegas Italian. Complete with mobsters, paintings of unclear origin and meaning. And seating staff that would be equally as equally adept at suggesting a bottle of wine as they would planting you in the desert.
For reasons I can't remember, Feddy chose Rosemary's.
My dining pal would be Karpov. Long time college associate with a great palette and ultra-kind demeanor. Unfortunately, he also has a penchant for dry and stupid humor. Think of a shaved Fozzie Bear, both from a sound and personality point of view, and you're definitely in the right camp.
Rosemary's is expensive. You can run a US$75 lunch bill, no problem. But they often have a coupon online (which they had this time), so we were good at $23 apiece for three courses.
Tucked away in a godforsaken strip mall and situated in a part of Vegas that's definitely "not sexy," it's easy to think you're making a mistake. But you're wrong.
The off-strip location keeps the prices down, their profits up, but most important of all, it acts as repellent for those goddamn super-snobs that expect everything comped just because they spill a few thousand on a craps table.
The decor inside is warming and nice without being typically-Vegas glitzy. The vibe's good enough to drive off any mental echo from the dollar stores that lie just outside.
We had a young, blonde, white and bespectacled waitress. Sharp and on-the-mark. Attentive without being snooty. Our busser was a Hispanic, good-humored gentleman but definitely not a guy you'd want to meet on the wrong side of town at exactly the right time.
Attention to detail is everything here. My white napkin is removed from the table and replaced by a black one to match my pants. As every course is served to the table, they are served simultaneously to both Karpov and myself. If it's the little things that make a place great, then this place is great by default.
In order to maximize flavor and variety, I'm not going to overlap any of my food with Karpov. He goes for the carpaccio (one point for daring -- it's a dish he's never had), so that let's me walk into my favorite Rosemary's starter, barbecued shrimp.
As is always the case when I have these, the barbecue flavor is subtle and smokey. It's a taste that hits you midway and lingers like a long goodbye from an old friend. My only complaint about this dish is every time I've had it the shrimp seem a bit dry -- I'm not sure if this is from them being a tad old, or if they spend a touch too much time on the grill.
The next course are beef kabobs. Very well marinated and cooked to absolute perfect "medium" (for some reason, chefs almost never can make "medium" on their meat prep -- I have no idea why this is). This is a dish I've never had before, and these without question, are the best kabobs I've ever had. Moist with just a hint of sourness and charcoal.
I have my eyes on two different possible desserts: an all-chocolate cake and a lemon cake/cream combo, but detour when I hear their (homemade) ice cream flavors. I opt for almond ice cream, a white peach sorbet and a boysenberry sorbet. The white peach is a disappointment -- it tastes too much like apricot to me (which they also had on the menu -- did I get served the wrong thing?). The boysenberry is nice and strong. But the winner, easily, is the almond ice cream. So much on the mark that you can practically taste those little flecks of paper that surround the meat of the nut between bites.
A spectacular meal. Rosemary's has never disappointed and this was no exception. With tip and drinks we plunk down US$65 (and worth it).
Unfortunately the vast majority of the conversation over the meal includes phrases like "they cut a flap in your eye and bend it over." Karpov is instructing the people at the table next to us what it's like to experience Lasik eye surgery (a routine the woman at the table next to us is getting ready to experience).
In typical Karpovian fashion, he begins the conversation with, "This probably isn't the kind of thing you talk about in a restaurant ..." and then continues to give long, excruciating details in that Muppet voice of his. Bad enough in and of itself? Not quite. Remember this is Karpov telling the story, which also means that:
* it's impossible for him to tell his tales anything close to "succinctly"
= &, if that weren't bad enough =
* he leaves out major pieces of information (such as "would you ever do this again?")
Which is to say that even though we had a discount at Rosemary's, it was hardly what you'd call "psychologically cheap."
1 comment:
Title: Same Meal as seen through Karpov's laser-corrected Eyes.
Had I not been prepped by b-1's pre-meal Rosemary's hype, I would have been skeptical walking through the strip mall door with 'Dollar Tree' on the left and 'Stein Mart' further on the left. In retrospect though, the nondescript exterior made the ensuing meal all the more exotic.
A definite highlight was the omnipresent service. The simultaneous presentation of the courses made a big impression. I was on the chair end of a bench-chair two-top, so I had no warning that the food was coming. In a startling instant we had two plates of artfully prepared food swooped down on our table. Very nice.
More service notes...not only was my chair pushed in when I first sat down, but both times I stood up to visit the restroom my chair was attended to when I returned. I also have never seen the switching of b-1's napkin from white to black to match his black pants. We certainly would not want b-1 to appear at the blackjack tables with white linen fuzz stuck to his pants!
My favorite course was the appetizer. I selected the "Dry Aged Beef & Maytag Blue Cheese Carpaccio with Arugula & Granny Smith Apple Salad, Candied Walnuts & Port Wine Drizzles." As I write this the taste memory rushes back vivid and tangible. To me it was more 'carpaccio flavored blue cheese' rather than the complement, but it was incredibly good. When I return I'll be hoping that this remains on the menu.
For the main course I selected "Creole Seasoned Shrimp with Anson Mills Carolina Cheesy Quick Grits, Andouille Red Bean Sauce & Grilled Green Onion." It was artfully presented and very good, but did not stand out to me like the carpaccio did. The shrimp did seem to be a tad dry--perhaps influenced by the comment b-1 made of his appetizer? The grits were tasty though. I'll be looking to try something different next time.
Finally I chose the Creme Brulee for dessert. It was marvelous and what I was craving (gotta love the sugary crust over the custardy goodness.) I don't order this too often, so I can't say this was a creme de la creme brulee, but it probably was. I sure enjoyed it.
I'll leave you, gentle reader, to judge the quality of the sharp and dry karpovian wit. (Do not be swayed by b-1's campaign to the contrary.) An excellent example is from a mountian bike ride I took with my Mother 3 days after my lasik eye surgery. As we were riding on a back road in NH with an abundance of new england stone walls, I rattled off the following double-header.
"If you keep your eyes peeled, you might see a stone wall!"
"Hmm, eyes peeled. I now have a new appreciation for that term!"
Lucky b-1 was on the receiving end of this wit throughout our visit to Vegas.
Finally, it must be noted that b-1 started the conversation with the neighboring table about eye surgery. The young woman was hard at work convincing her companion that she should have this done. We couldn't help but overhear, and I whispered to b-1 that I could add an interesting perspective to that conversation since I had just had it done 5 days ago. He then creatively pardoned himself for interupting, and informed the couple that I had just had the procedure done, and would be happy to field questions. While explained my personal discomfort with the blade slicing the flap in my eye (as the couple was served their main course), I did show great restraint by not mentioning that I could smell my burning eyeball as the lasers were doing their work.
In conclusion, this was a memorable and delicious meal, and I absolutely will go there again next time I visit Vegas. My tastes are normally more 'roadfood' (www.roadfood.com) than 5-star, (I enjoyed a Garbage Plate in Rochester NY earlier this year, reviewed on their site) but bottom line...
get thee to Rosemary's.
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